Saturday, August 28, 2010

Part II: R.R.O. - White Daisy Passing

       
    
 #108
08.28.10
    
White Daisy Passing - Rocky Votolato
      
R.R.O., my mother-in-law of 17 years, was diagnosed with Stage IV (metastatic) cancer on 06.29.09.  After exactly 365 days of some terrible lows and a few brilliant highs, she passed away on 06.28.10.  Today is the two-month anniversary of her passing.
   
I will not be able to write a proper tribute to her, which I had hoped to do.  Perhaps some future day, when I have been able to wrap my brain around it all.
   
For now I will have to let the photos and the music do most of the speaking for me.  But I will mention that R.R.O. loved daisies, and that I miss her, and that I understand her more after her passing than I did while she was living.  I feel badly for that, and can do nothing but accept it and try to be better about understanding those who surround me now.
   
And I will forever look at daisies in a different light.
    
  
These were taken this afternoon.  The rain, the drooping daisies, the listless flag... everything is as it should be.
  

 
  These three photos were taken with my Canon Xsi on the day of her funeral viewing.
  
  
  
This simple, candid iPhone photo is how I will choose to remember our R. forever.
 
I was privileged to spend a full week alone with her and my father-in-law, D.H.O., in March, 2010, and took this one night during a glorious Arizona  sunset.  It is the last photo I took, and will ever get to take, of her.  It is also the last time I stood near her in life.  Despite the devastating loss, D.H.O. has been an anchor for the family through it all.
 
I will always love and miss you, Mom.
 
CCE
  

Monday, August 23, 2010

Part I: Daisies of the Galaxy

   

  
#107
08.23.10
  
Daisies of the Galaxy - Eels 

  Today's entry is another example of my inner "circles" colliding, and spilling out into this blog.
  
I've been collecting photos of daisies this past year with the iPhone camera, though I can't say I've ever particularly appreciated daisies before.  There is a reason for it, of course, and Part II of 'the Daisies' series will further elucidate why.  It has been a struggle for me getting to that blog entry, and my hope is that this gentle Part I might pave the way for me to get out the painful Part II.
   
This is just a gorgeous song by my man Mark O. Everett - the genius behind the band Eels.  It manages to create a bittersweet feeling to my mind's ear.
 
...

I'll pick some daisies
From the flower bed
Of the Galaxy Theater
While you clear your head
   
I thought some daisies
Might cheer you up 
   
***
   
There's a sense of innocence in the way the boy perceives his friend to be confused or sad, and offers to pick some flowers that "might cheer you up".  I also like the how the title Daisies of the Galaxy conjures images of something large, or of epic grandeur, when really it's about a rundown movie house with a simple flower bed.  
  
The Eels will release their new album "Tomorrow Morning", er... tomorrow morning, as it were.  I thought it fitting to honor the occasion by featuring an older song from their catalog tonight.  Interestingly, iTunes releases the new albums every Tuesday morning at 12:01 a.m., which happens to be 8:01 p.m. in Alaska... which means I get to cheat the universe and download albums on Mondays instead of Tuesdays.  Ha!  
 
It's like plucking Daisies from the Galaxy.

The daisies featured in this blog are from my yard.
  

Please stay tuned for Part II (unless I chicken out, again).
   
CCE
  
    

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Waiting for the Moon to Rise

  
  
#106
08.21.10
  
Waiting for the Moon to Rise - Belle & Sebastian
  
I'm a total sucker for the twee chamber-pop of Belle & Sebastian, and have been for a long, long time.  They were one of the two total concerts I was able to attend during the 8 years I lived in Philly. Tiffinie and I caught the show at the Tower, and it wound up being one of our favorite evenings together. 


Most every song by B&S is sung by the inimitable Stuart Murdoch, though some real gems on early B&S work feature the lovely Isobel Campbell (cellist) on vocals.  {Perhaps you've heard some of her later solo work?  She is known for a silky, whisperlike delivery, but her albums with Mark Lanegan of Screaming Trees / Queens of the Stone Age are darkly gorgeous.}  However, on this track the super shy violinist (really - you should see her actively avoid the spotlight during live shows!) Sarah Martin wrote and performed the vocals on Waiting for the Moon to Rise off their 4th album Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant.  Even though she ends up singing a-la Isobel, I think it isn't on purpose.  I sense the shyness in her delivery here, and really am drawn in to the song all the more for it.


I really like how the calm of the song matches the calm of this amazing moonrise over the Turnagain Arm.  I caught it around 10:45 p.m. this past Thursday after attending the Anchorage screening of "Ashes of American Flags", a documentary / collection of Wilco performances in 2008, at the Bear Tooth Theater.  Very, very sadly I was meant to attend their performance that year here in Anchorage at the Moose's Tooth, but instead spent the day fishing with my father-in-law in Resurrection Bay, and missed it.  I suppose I traded one memory for another.


This song is on my favorite "night driving" playlist... and not-so-ironically, the playlist was created for late night drives along the very same Turnagain Arm depicted in the photograph.


All the way back home
I'm telling you I caught the sun
Creeping up behind my shoulder
Another day's begun
I was following a trail
I'd never been along before
Chasing darkened skies above me
Looking like the spring
Like the winter
And the morning

If there's a place I want to go
Then I'll be there with you
Because in my dreams, the things I'm wishing for
Keep coming true

Now a new day comes
Clears the darkness out of sight
And the shadows that were sleeping
Come and dance beneath the light
And I'm trying hard to hide
Keep the sun out of my eyes
Close them tight and now I'm waiting
For the moon to rise

Don't try to say to me
That this was never meant to be
Because the days are long where I come from
The next few days I'm free
There's a train I want to catch
But it won't leave here for a while
Until darkness fills the eastern sky
And streetlights stretch for miles
Through the spring
And the winter
And the morning 

One final aside:  I smile internally at the realization of how tightly focused my interests really are.  It seems like every circle of an interest or attraction I posses intersects with other small circles during everyday occurrences.  Though this may be hard to follow, I'll try to illustrate.

I had just seen one of my musical heroes, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco, in the concert documentary film at the Bear Tooth Theater.  Tweedy can come across as somber or morose, and it turns some people off.  But I happen to know he suffers from chronic migraine headaches since he was young, and I think that suffering comes out in his work.  I'm absolutely attracted to his work, and perhaps for no greater reason than that knowledge.  (But come on, he's a gifted lyricist, and that band just moves!)  

I too have suffered chronic migraine headaches since I was 15, with some of them surpassing 30 consecutive days of misery.  In a tie for First Place amongst the triggers for my migraines is Bright Light (Heat being the other).  For as much as I've enjoyed the past few days of Sun here in Anchorage, it just wrecks my head if I don't have my Paul Smith oversized sunglasses ready to go.  Of course, I never allow that to happen... I've been dealing with this for so long that I always have eye protection with me.  

In any event, to try and close off this tangential romp through a briar patch... I can really relate to Sarah's lines in this song dealing with trying to hide from the Sun, and Waiting for the Moon to Rise.  It is The Reason I love Winter in Alaska so much... long stretches of dark that last for months at a time... a soothing salve to an aching brain.  

And that's how headaches, the moon, Wilco, and Belle & Sebastian can coexist nicely within the recesses of my mind.

Perhaps I will extend Mr. Tweedy an invitation to come up here and live in the subarctic with us?  Nah... if physical pain is the impetus for his music, with all apologies to him, I'd prefer he remain in pain.  As for me?  Eh... I suppose I could give it up.
CCE

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Unmade Bed

   
   
#105
08.18.10
   
Unmade Bed - Sonic Youth
     
Look who's come back home again
Loser looking for his lucky break
This time he says he just needs a friend
Ain't on the run he ain't on the take

Can you unlock the door babe
Will you undo the chain
Will you take yr time before you
Mix up love, his love and pain

Loneliness lays down his head
Wants to get you high, better take it now
A man like that's like an unmade bed
Stained eyes searching for another way out

Does it matter if you even want this
Maybe you just don't care
All I know it takes just one kiss, babe
For you - he's never there

Hey I know its kinda hard
And maybe this time it will never end
Hit and run lover back in yr heart
Answered prayers you should never have sent

Cuz now that yr in his arms babe
You know yr just in his way
Suckered by his fatal charm, oh girl
It's time we getaway 
 
  
CCE
 

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Episode II: The Healing

   
   
#104
08.14.10
   
To Heal - Underworld
 
That's my 5 year old CQEII creating a happy ending to an otherwise sad event.  
 
 
  
    
  
  
So, so proud.

 
CCE
  

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Episode I: The Injury

    
   
#103
08.11.10
   
The Knife - Bernard Hermann
Take Me To The Hospital - The Faint
   
Hold my hand, it's shaking bad
I'm going to the doc
I pay him, he'll fix me up
I think I've got enough
Ambulance, no, costs too much
We'll take a van
If they can't fix me no one can
If they can't fix it no one can

Want you to take me to the H

Take me to the O
Want you to take me to the S
Take me to the P
Want you to take me to the I - T - A - L
Want you to take me to hospital
Hospital
 
Now I'm losing blood from my veins

They're slowly emptying
I'm bothered by this crimson red
To the color of blood
To the color of a B
The color of a L
To the color of a O
The color of O
To the color of a Deep crimson red
From a little bitty accident
Accident
 
I scraped up my face

Bounced my cheek on the floor
Because anything worth doing
Is worth getting hurt for

I've made no mistakes
I'm never learning from that
I got no regrets
I want to do it again
Do it A - G - A - I - N
 
So you can take me to the H

Take me to the O
Want you to take me to the S
Take me to the P
Want you to take me to the I - T - A - L
Want you to take me to the hospital
 
Because it's the color of a B

The color of a L
To the color of O
The color of O
To the color of a Deep crimson red
From a little bitty accident
 
You better take me to the H

Take me to the O
Want you to take me to the S
Take me to the P
Want you to take me to the I - T - A - L
Want you to take me to hospital 
 
  
 
*Important Notes from the Author:


1.  Commentary on my dark socks with trail shoes is officially DISALLOWED.  

2.  Anyone wanting details of exactly how the injury occurred shall not learn them from me.  

[However, if you must find them out, I'd refer you to one of the 13 gang-bangers currently in a local ICU and recovering from the extensive coma-inducing injuries they sustained over a several hour battle with a lone warrior in an Anchorage parking lot; or perhaps the family of the gang-banger who perished from a perfectly delivered 5-Finger Death Punch (FFDP); or you could track down the lone coherent survivor who was spared specifically to share the full details of his gang's miscalculated attack on a highly trained Subarctic Ninjapodiatrist.]  **NB portions of the preceding were ripped and modified (with reckless disregard for propriety) from Mr. Q.T.'s K.B. v.1&2.


3.  I've always liked the Saddle Creek Records (SCR) label (Bright Eyes, Rilo Kiley, Two Gallants, et. al.), though this was the first band I heard from them.  I remember being on call late one night as a resident in Philadelphia, c. 2001, streaming SomaFM's Indie PopRocks and hearing The Faints Danse Macabre.  It's really not my favorite type of music, but I cannot resist this band for some reason.  Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes) was their first lead singer, and he started the SCR label with his brother Justin while teenagers in Omaha, NE.  I've followed Conor's career ever since, and through all of his detours / guest appearances.  His vocal style and delivery is often raw and bizarre, but his lyrics are inspired.  Take Me To The Hospital was only released on a SCR 50 album, no official release on a Faint album.

4.  Don't even try to test me on Author's Note #1.

CCE
   

Monday, August 9, 2010

Fishing the Sky

  
  
#102
08.09.10
  
Fishing the Sky - The Appleseed Cast

The reaching ocean,
walked for days.

The reaching ocean,
you are mine.

The falling skyline,
is washing away. 

The empty notion,
you are mine. 

Fishing the sky!



  

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